Perseverance and Recovery
I’ve been thinking about the idea of perseverance, lately. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about perseverance in conjunction with stubbornness and having faith. When I think about recovering from my ED, I think my innately stubborn nature was an asset in the recovery process. I’m an incredibly stubborn person, and while this can sometimes be a hindrance, I think it can be a positive thing, too.
At one point in my life, I was firmly entrenched in my eating disorder, and I was not budging. My mind was made up (I was also incredibly sick). Then, I took a proverbial leap of faith, and went to treatment. I did not go to treatment thinking I would be fixed and completely recovered. I went to treatment because I couldn’t stand myself and who I had become. But, once in treatment, I made the choice to change and tentatively dipped my toes in the pool of recovery. I did not dive in.
While my stubborn nature kept me entrenched in my eating disorder at one point, it also helped me recover. Once I had a purge-free streak, I wouldn’t break it for anything. Once I stopped restricting, I could not see going back. It took faith to enter treatment, and it took faith to enter (and stay) in recovery. I had to believe that there was a better life out there for me, even though I couldn’t see it or grasp it at the very beginning of recovery.
Recovery takes perseverance. It means having faith and believing in yourself, and believing that there is a better life out there for you. It means not letting your guard down and not returning to ED behaviors. It means picking yourself up and dusting yourself off after a slip or relapse. It means not beating yourself up, and being gentle and kind to yourself.
Now, I’m on the other side. I am in recovery, and it comes much more easily than those first years after treatment. Perseverance and faith helped get me to this point. And of course, my stubbornness. You can do it, too. Have faith in yourself. There is a better life out there, for you.